If It Walks Like a Duck…

jeffersons-cast

Much like the Jeffersons, “If It Walks” has moved on up to the eastside to dee-lux apartment in the sky. The new location is the all new www.theduckwalk.com. Please make a note of it and be sure to check me out over there.

See ya in a sec!

Gwen

Danity Kane reject Aubrey O’Day is scheduled to appear in an upcoming issue of the ilaubreyoday1lustrious and highly respectable Playboy Magazine…along with a bunch of lion cubs (for hightened sensuality, I suppose?) Whatever.

She posed nearly naked earlier this year for Travis Barker’s Stars and Stripes clothing line (see image). She’s been known to wear all sorts of random “barely there” pieces of fabric she calls “clothing” while attempting to stay relevant in Hollywood. And she’s considered to be the resident “ho” of the group from her many exploits with certain celebrity men whose mamas didn’t teach them to not kiss and tell. So why is she so shocked when the media calls her a slut and says she “gets around”?

From all indications, Ms. O’Day doesn’t like being called a “ho”. Poor thing. In the October issue of Complex magazine, Aubrey discusses her problem:

Complex: When you’re out at clubs, you must get approached in an aggressive way.
Aubrey: I think urban guys look at me and are like, “Here’s the white girl I’m gonna f***.” I’m so not like that! I just don’t get why they think those things about me.

Ok…now, first: what is an “urban” guy? Is that some semi-politically correct code word for “black”? LOL…it just sounds silly, like she’s trying way too hard not to come across as racist. Anywho…I digress…

Secondly, one of Aubrey’s good friends that she just happens to always be with is none other than porn star, Jenna Jameson. Here’s what she had to say about that:

Complex: So when people hear you’re best friends with Jenna Jameson, they think-
Aubrey:I’m going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I’m classier than that. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period…There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”

*Blank stare*

Look, if it walks like a ducks and talks like a duck, it sure ain’t a frog. And don’t birds of a feather flock together? I could see if Aubrey and Jenna met once at a party and ran into each other here and there, but what makes her think she be BEST FRIENDS with Jenna Jameson and then be confused as to why people think she’s preparing to display her own set of straight-to-DVD “talents”?

Furthermore, it makes no sense at all for Aubrey to expect these “urban guys” to give her the royal treatment when she’s running around acting and looking like the town harlot. She commands and demands no respect from anyone, especially these men she’s referring to. I’d like to feel sorry for her. Really, I would. But there is a certain level of accountability that poor little Aubrey just doesn’t seem to take responsibility for.

You have to command respect in order to receive it. As women, we command respect in three main ways: the way we act, the way we talk, and the way we dress—the latter being the most initially visible. Once you set the tone for the commandment of respect, demanding it is nothing. It comes naturally. Aubrey willingly and consistently violates every principle of commanding respect, so she need not complain when “urban guys” see her as nothing more than what she portrays herself as.

Hey ya’ll! I, again, apologize for this short hiatus. I have 2 weeks of graduate school left and it’s really getting down to the wire. I will be back in full force after Dec. 13. In the meantime, thought I’d do one of those random time-waster quizzes so you can get to know me a lil better. (See below) Thanks for all your support and continued reading & commenting! Love you guys!

This post comes courtesy of Tony over at Time to Man Upwomen_counting_money. Be sure to check him out when you’re done over here.

Recently, I had the privilege of sitting down and having a drink with an older mature gentleman (probably twice my age). Something that I recommend young men do more often. It’s a great way to learn about our past as men while closing the history gap.

We were conversing back and forth on the mounting lack of respect between men and women. Kids- born out of wedlock, the death of chivalry, and the increasing rate of failing marriages. By the middle of the discussion, I had already come to the conclusion that many of these problems are from the declining value of what lies between a woman’s legs. Don’t misunderstand me; I am not talking about “tricking” …

A man no longer has to put FORTH much effort. Many of today’s women have dropped the bar and made it extremely easy, for any ol’ Joe with finances to get inside her precious treasure. A woman’s body is no longer reserve for the man that treats her with respect and earns her heart. It’s now reserve for the sugar daddy, the highest bidder, and big spenders.

In my opinion some things are just too valuable to sell. You see, when something is for sale that means any dummy with money can buy it. There are no background checks, character witnesses, or goals.

In short, the true essence of a man is overlooked for his financial wealth. Which, in the long run doesn’t mean much. All you have is an idiot with money; who has no idea nor cares how to treat a woman with respect.

Back then, a man had to prove himself before sleeping with a woman. To sum it up, he had to work for the goods. Men had to provide evidence that they were worthy and simply playing sugar daddy wasn’t good enough. A man was measured by his goals, LIFE intentions and realness.

What went wrong!

Things WENT wrong when women lowered the bar from a man’s character to his clothes and whips. This opened the DOOR for a lot of fake dudes to get in (financially stable men who have no real character)…no genuine intentions of loving her, taking care of his kids, or even marriage.

I remember as a young BOY my mother use to say “You can only sell what they’re buying.” Which means it’s easy to SELL bs, if THEY’RE buying bs. I suggest women look more into a man’s character instead of his pocket and bank account. And keeping their legs closed long enough to SEE HIS TRUE qualities.

You can forge many things, but it’s hard as hell to fake character. I’m not saying it can’t be done but very few people can do it.

But then again….This is just MY philosophy…What’s yours?

Yes people, this is a real commercial and this is a real product. I called to verify authenticity and this is not a joke. This little card will either be a cheater’s best friend, or worst enemy.

work-ome

This guest post comes courtesy of the Mom & Dad over at Black and Married with Kids. Make sure to check them out when you get done here.

The whole concept of a work spouse is disturbing to me. According to an article on CNN.com, 23% of workes say they have a work spouse which is: “…a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage.”

Here are 7 sevens signs that you have a work spouse:
1. You depend on a particular co-worker for office supplies, snacks and aspirin.
2. There are inside jokes that you and a specific co-worker share.
3. You can be bluntly honest with this person about his or her appearance, hygiene or hair (and vice versa). You’re comfortable enough to point out that the other’s hair is sticking up — or that someone’s fly is down.
4. When something eventful happens at work, this co-worker is the first person you seek out for a de-briefing.
5. At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, your closest co-worker knows what to order for you and how you like your coffee (and vice versa).
6. You and your co-worker can finish each other’s sentences.
7. Someone in your office knows almost as much about your personal life as your best friend or real-life spouse does.

Number 7 disturbs me the most. Should you really be sharing your personal life with your co-workers? I can understand talking about the kids, sharing photos of the kids or of a family vacation. But I don’t think you should share personal information about your marriage with a co-worker. I don’t think my husband would appreciate me confiding in a co-worker of the opposite sex…..asking this person for advice…or sharing secrets with that person. This type of behavior could quickly lead to in appropriate behaviour or affairs.

I certainly understand that people build friendships with people at work. Let’s face it, you spend the majority of your time with these folks each week. I have built several lasting relationships with women at work. But now that I am married, I will not be developing any close personal relationships with co-workers of the opposite sex.

And while we are on the topic, what about lunch? Do you think it is appropriate to go out to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex or do you prefer to go out in groups? Is it ok for your spouse to purchase lunch for another co-worker or for a co-worker to buy lunch for your spouse?

cartoon_friendsTHE BACKSTORY:

I’m not an easily offended person and I’m not super-sensitive like some women. I can dish the sarcasm and take it with the best of ’em…most days…

This morning, I had a discussion via Yahoo! IM with a close girlfriend of mine who jokingly said some sarcastic comment that hurt my feelings, as it was the exact comment an ex had said to me on numerous occasions. The difference is that he wasn’t being sarcastic or fatecious. He was dead serious. So this hurt my feelings and the more I let it fester the more annoyed I became. :( She didn’t know he had said this to me, but she’s very aware of what a bastard he is.

So eventually, I just let it out and I’m like “I cannot believe you just said that to me. WTF? ‘He’ used to say that ish to me all the time. Whine whine whine.”

THE CONVO (and I am copying and pasting so yes, this is word-for-word):

FRIEND:
Let’s get a few things clear here:
1. I am not him. My name begins with an ‘I’
2. You should know by now that I’m usually sarcastic and anything that may sound offensive is usually a joke
3. I would NEVER do you like that psycho you…. I LOVE you, and I believe we’ll be together forever

ME:
*sniff sniff* mmk. Some stuff just strikes a chord. Like, if i said something that was just like what you-know-who said or something, you’d be a lil weirded out, I think. Sorry if i got overly offended.😦

FRIEND:
Forgiven…and Im sorry if I offended you

ME:
mmk *hugs*

FRIEND:
*hugs* ok…what’s going on for friday?

Ok, so her point #3 was a little fruitalicious…but that’s just her being a gooftroop. There’s no down-low stuff going on here.

But this convo made me think of how important girlfriend relationships are for women and how many of us don’t have them. Guys usually have their “crew” of buddies they are always with and can count on. Women (at least the ones I know) are a little different. We typically have a select few we can trust. With women being known to be so catty and drama-creaters, every woman needs a good girlfriend or two she can relate to. It’s cool to have male friends and everything but girlfriend relationships are so important.

It’s interesting how when I was a teen, I didn’t have a “crew” of girls I hung out with. I attended a mixed-race suburban school but I lived in the hood my entire life and just could not get with the phoniness that I was surrounded by at school. Although I was popular and was cool with (mostly) everyone, I only had a few girlfriends, usually about 2 or 3 at a time. I didn’t trust girls, for good reason. The ones I knew always wanted to try to steal your man, try to out-do you, fight over stupid mess or talk about you behind your back. For a long time, I thought this only happened to me. Soon, I found out that this is just the way girls were. My mom let me know that sometimes girls are just jealous of everything and nothing at the same time and that it was ok if I had my select few, for the ones with the large crews always seemed to have the largest internal problems within said crew. I found that to be true and became content with my small tight-knit circle. As a result, I had a lot more male friends — they weren’t on all that nonesense of talking about folks and being sneaky. They just wanted to go play laser tag and hit up the Cavs games (Cleveland stand up!).  Of course, they’d sometimes try to make a move, but it was pretty easy to let ’em know it wasn’t going down like that. They’d eventually back off and be content with living in what I’ve often heard referred to as “the dreaded friend box”.

Now that I’m (not much) older, I still have my select few girls, but much more open to new relationships with women. Sometimes I think I give people the benefit of the doubt too often, but trust, a chick will get cut off quickly if I see she’s being sneaky and underhanded…which I’ve had to do recently. The more I mature the more I appreciate good girlfriends and what those relationships offer to me as a person and as a woman. We need to fellowship with one another and connect on a level you just can’t get to with your man or other male friends. So to all my current good girlfriends and to all the ones I’ll cultivate relationships with in the future, here’s a big ol’ virtual *HUG* from me to you.

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