Posts Tagged ‘dumb broad syndrome’
I have a serious issue with Kim Porter. She is a gorgeous woman. She’s knocking on 40 and looks like she’s just turning 25. Her body is to die for and her skin looks like it’s been kissed by God himself. And though I may be a little green-eyed about her physical attributes, I am not in the least bit jealous of her so-called “relationship” with Diddy.
Kim evidently wants us to use her as a clear example of how to avoid being a door mat in our relationships. So in honor of Kim’s personal sacrifice of respect for herself, I’ve compiled of list of what NOT to do. Please join me in paying homage to Kim.
1. Know Your Worth
When Kim and Diddy met, she was a receptionist at Uptown records, where Diddy was an intern. Eventually, Diddy was promoted to VP and Kim started modeling. Shortly after that, they hooked up and it’s been a rollercoaster ride ever since. She had a modeling career and earned her own money. A resourceful entrepreneur in her own right, she started her own party planning company in Atlanta, which she has seemingly given up on. She’s got (or at least, had) a life of her own. But her claim to fame is being Diddy’s off and on girlfriend and interminable ‘baby momma’. This disappoints me. Do not give up your life, your dreams and your goals for a man (or anyone else for that matter). He needs to know that you can and do pull your own weight. That you are with him because you want to be with him, not because you need somebody to feed you and put gas in your ride. See Exhibit A for proof. If you are totally dependent on him, he will treat you like a piece of property, because in reality, he really does own you if he’s supporting all your wants, needs and habits. Bad men love this type of woman. She’s always there to give up the booty and cook his meals while he doesn’t have to put much effort in other than throwing a few dollars at her to shut her up when she starts running of at the mouth.
2. Money Doesn’t Make a Man
Being with a paid man doesn’t add up to a pile of cow manure when he treats you like trash. The measure of a man is not defined by a large salary, fine clothing or a house on a hill. A “man” appreciates his woman and does not, under any circumstances, take her for granted. He knows she can bounce out on him at any moment should he not step up and play his position properly, so he does the necessary things to please her. If Diddy respected Kim, trust and believe he would not be out with Cassie at the zoo all hugged up (on Mother’s Day of all days!) and he most definitely would not be on the beach canoodling with J-Lo while Kim was in the hospital having his youngest son, Christian. WTF? If for no other reason, Kim should kicked his behind to the curb for that alone. I don’t even know Kim and that story pisses me off. Man…I wish somebody would… Don’t even get me started.
3. Love is What Love Does
When a man loves you, there is no doubt in your mind. You don’t have to wonder about it. His actions are clear and concise. He won’t be out doing things to you cause embarrassment or pain. Didn’t your mother tell you: “actions speak louder than words”? Forget what he says…focus on how he acts.
4. Quit Making Excuses for Him
While pregnant with twins, Kim was in the December 2006 issue of Essence Magazine rambling about how Diddy has changed and how good of a father he is to his kids. How he takes care of them and how he spends time with them. Ok great…good for Diddy, good for the kids. What about her? “I know he loves me, but he is learning how I need to be loved”. She sounds like the quintessential dumb broad. She’s been with this cat for what? 10+ years? And he doesn’t know how to love you the way you need to be loved? Please. If he hasn’t learned by now, he’s never going to learn. Rather, I believe, he just doesn’t care. Why should he? He knows she’s not going anywhere. Every time she “leaves” him, we see her spotted out with him somewhere holding hands. If you represent yourself as a door mat, you will be treated accordingly. The best thing she could do for her relationship with him is to leave and stay away. Find someone who loves her better. I guarantee a big motivator is the money and lifestyle Diddy provides, but who wants to have to cry and be miserable everyday while you’re sitting at the house alone as he is off screwing other chicks?
5. Stop Trying to Change Him
In that same Essence article, Diddy talks about how this was the first time he’s ever been in a monogamous relationship. How he hasn’t cheated “this time” and how fulfilling it is. Shortly after the twins were born, some other chick in Atlanta, Sarah Chapman, goes public with how she just had Diddy’s baby. DNA tests confirmed the child was his and evidently the two women were pregnant at the same time. What happened to that monogamy, Diddy? Sounds like that was just a lie to satisfy Kim’s dumb behind who, for some reason, thought you were a changed man. Listen, people do not change for other people! Oh, he certainly might change for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a year or longer. But trust and believe he will relapse and the façade will fade. It always does. If a man wants to change, he will change for himself, not because his woman has been nagging him and hounding him to change his ways. If there is a spiritual anointing upon him, he could change, but again, it’s not because any particular person forced him to change. That is a personal decision. Anyway, the next thing we know, Kim is giving interviews about how Sarah Chapman is a skank and how Kim’s kids don’t need to know the Sarah’s kid because it’s illegitimate and whatnot. Kim, shut up! You sound like a fool. She said that same thing when Diddy left her for J-Lo, calling her “nothing but a booty with a smile”. If you spent as much energy being mad at your “man” as you do all the women he’s bedding on a daily basis, you might have the time to actually make like the smart, self-reliant woman you used to be and leave his selfish behind.