If It Walks Like a Duck…

Archive for December 2008


Much like the Jeffersons, “If It Walks” has moved on up to the eastside to dee-lux apartment in the sky. The new location is the all new www.theduckwalk.com. Please make a note of it and be sure to check me out over there.

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Danity Kane reject Aubrey O’Day is scheduled to appear in an upcoming issue of the ilaubreyoday1lustrious and highly respectable Playboy Magazine…along with a bunch of lion cubs (for hightened sensuality, I suppose?) Whatever.

She posed nearly naked earlier this year for Travis Barker’s Stars and Stripes clothing line (see image). She’s been known to wear all sorts of random “barely there” pieces of fabric she calls “clothing” while attempting to stay relevant in Hollywood. And she’s considered to be the resident “ho” of the group from her many exploits with certain celebrity men whose mamas didn’t teach them to not kiss and tell. So why is she so shocked when the media calls her a slut and says she “gets around”?

From all indications, Ms. O’Day doesn’t like being called a “ho”. Poor thing. In the October issue of Complex magazine, Aubrey discusses her problem:

Complex: When you’re out at clubs, you must get approached in an aggressive way.
Aubrey: I think urban guys look at me and are like, “Here’s the white girl I’m gonna f***.” I’m so not like that! I just don’t get why they think those things about me.

Ok…now, first: what is an “urban” guy? Is that some semi-politically correct code word for “black”? LOL…it just sounds silly, like she’s trying way too hard not to come across as racist. Anywho…I digress…

Secondly, one of Aubrey’s good friends that she just happens to always be with is none other than porn star, Jenna Jameson. Here’s what she had to say about that:

Complex: So when people hear you’re best friends with Jenna Jameson, they think-
Aubrey:I’m going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I’m classier than that. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period…There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”

*Blank stare*

Look, if it walks like a ducks and talks like a duck, it sure ain’t a frog. And don’t birds of a feather flock together? I could see if Aubrey and Jenna met once at a party and ran into each other here and there, but what makes her think she be BEST FRIENDS with Jenna Jameson and then be confused as to why people think she’s preparing to display her own set of straight-to-DVD “talents”?

Furthermore, it makes no sense at all for Aubrey to expect these “urban guys” to give her the royal treatment when she’s running around acting and looking like the town harlot. She commands and demands no respect from anyone, especially these men she’s referring to. I’d like to feel sorry for her. Really, I would. But there is a certain level of accountability that poor little Aubrey just doesn’t seem to take responsibility for.

You have to command respect in order to receive it. As women, we command respect in three main ways: the way we act, the way we talk, and the way we dress—the latter being the most initially visible. Once you set the tone for the commandment of respect, demanding it is nothing. It comes naturally. Aubrey willingly and consistently violates every principle of commanding respect, so she need not complain when “urban guys” see her as nothing more than what she portrays herself as.

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