If It Walks Like a Duck…

Posts Tagged ‘friendship

cartoon_friendsTHE BACKSTORY:

I’m not an easily offended person and I’m not super-sensitive like some women. I can dish the sarcasm and take it with the best of ’em…most days…

This morning, I had a discussion via Yahoo! IM with a close girlfriend of mine who jokingly said some sarcastic comment that hurt my feelings, as it was the exact comment an ex had said to me on numerous occasions. The difference is that he wasn’t being sarcastic or fatecious. He was dead serious. So this hurt my feelings and the more I let it fester the more annoyed I became. 😦 She didn’t know he had said this to me, but she’s very aware of what a bastard he is.

So eventually, I just let it out and I’m like “I cannot believe you just said that to me. WTF? ‘He’ used to say that ish to me all the time. Whine whine whine.”

THE CONVO (and I am copying and pasting so yes, this is word-for-word):

FRIEND:
Let’s get a few things clear here:
1. I am not him. My name begins with an ‘I’
2. You should know by now that I’m usually sarcastic and anything that may sound offensive is usually a joke
3. I would NEVER do you like that psycho you…. I LOVE you, and I believe we’ll be together forever

ME:
*sniff sniff* mmk. Some stuff just strikes a chord. Like, if i said something that was just like what you-know-who said or something, you’d be a lil weirded out, I think. Sorry if i got overly offended. 😦

FRIEND:
Forgiven…and Im sorry if I offended you

ME:
mmk *hugs*

FRIEND:
*hugs* ok…what’s going on for friday?

Ok, so her point #3 was a little fruitalicious…but that’s just her being a gooftroop. There’s no down-low stuff going on here.

But this convo made me think of how important girlfriend relationships are for women and how many of us don’t have them. Guys usually have their “crew” of buddies they are always with and can count on. Women (at least the ones I know) are a little different. We typically have a select few we can trust. With women being known to be so catty and drama-creaters, every woman needs a good girlfriend or two she can relate to. It’s cool to have male friends and everything but girlfriend relationships are so important.

It’s interesting how when I was a teen, I didn’t have a “crew” of girls I hung out with. I attended a mixed-race suburban school but I lived in the hood my entire life and just could not get with the phoniness that I was surrounded by at school. Although I was popular and was cool with (mostly) everyone, I only had a few girlfriends, usually about 2 or 3 at a time. I didn’t trust girls, for good reason. The ones I knew always wanted to try to steal your man, try to out-do you, fight over stupid mess or talk about you behind your back. For a long time, I thought this only happened to me. Soon, I found out that this is just the way girls were. My mom let me know that sometimes girls are just jealous of everything and nothing at the same time and that it was ok if I had my select few, for the ones with the large crews always seemed to have the largest internal problems within said crew. I found that to be true and became content with my small tight-knit circle. As a result, I had a lot more male friends — they weren’t on all that nonesense of talking about folks and being sneaky. They just wanted to go play laser tag and hit up the Cavs games (Cleveland stand up!).  Of course, they’d sometimes try to make a move, but it was pretty easy to let ’em know it wasn’t going down like that. They’d eventually back off and be content with living in what I’ve often heard referred to as “the dreaded friend box”.

Now that I’m (not much) older, I still have my select few girls, but much more open to new relationships with women. Sometimes I think I give people the benefit of the doubt too often, but trust, a chick will get cut off quickly if I see she’s being sneaky and underhanded…which I’ve had to do recently. The more I mature the more I appreciate good girlfriends and what those relationships offer to me as a person and as a woman. We need to fellowship with one another and connect on a level you just can’t get to with your man or other male friends. So to all my current good girlfriends and to all the ones I’ll cultivate relationships with in the future, here’s a big ol’ virtual *HUG* from me to you.

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