If It Walks Like a Duck…

Archive for October 2008

Found this online while doing some research. Pretty interesting stuff…I still say men have it better in society, but this IS very interesting and thought provoking. What do you think? FYI: this came from the National Coalition of Free Men. Warning: this is a long one and some of this stuff is biased, having no factual basis, but it’s still up for discussion nonetheless


The law forbids cutting a baby girl’s genitals, but. . .

  • Doctors amputate nerve-filled tissue from a million baby boys’ genitals every year. 1
  • They usually do not use an anesthetic.
  • Scientific research shows that circumcision is extremely painful and traumatic. 2
  • No conclusive research has ever shown a medical benefit of circumcision.
  • The foreskin contains 10,000 nerve endings and 240 feet of nerves.
  • Circumcision permanently reduces the amount of pleasure that a man can feel during sex, and can cause a variety of sexual dysfunctions in adulthood. 3
  • Over 200 baby boys die from circumcision and related causes each year. 4


  • Infant boys are more likely than infant girls to be killed by abusers. 5
  • Those who abuse boys are much less likely to be put in prison than those who abuse girls. 6
  • When mothers hit their sons, they are more than twice as likely to cause injury as when they hit their daughters. 7
  • Girls do slightly worse than boys in science and math. 8
  • Much is being done to help girls in these subjects.
  • Boys do much worse than girls in reading and writing. 9
  • Little is being done to help boys in these subjects.
  • Boys are constantly told that they must never hit a girl.
  • A girl is permitted to hit a boy if she feels upset by something he said.
  • Boys are less likely than girls to finish high school. 10
  • A juvenile male who commits a sex offense is 46 times as likely to be arrested and charged with a crime as a juvenile female who commits the same offense. 11
  • Teenage boys are four times as likely as teenage girls to commit suicide. 12

Early Adulthood

Higher Education

  • Men are less likely than women to go to college. 13
  • Men constitute 51% of the college-age population, but only 43% of university and college undergraduates are men. 14
  • Many universities and colleges continue efforts to increase female enrollment.
  • There are 65 women’s colleges and universities in the United States. 15
  • There are 5 men’s colleges and universities. 16


A man is expected to…

  • Risk rejection and ask for the date.
  • Plan the date.
  • Pick her up for the date.
  • Pay for the date.
  • Entertain her during the date.
  • Determine what level of physical intimacy she wants on the date.
  • Initiate that level of intimacy on the date.
  • Take her home after the date.
  • Call her after the date.

A woman is expected to…

  • Show up for the date.
  • If the man initiates physical intimacy too slowly for the woman, she is likely to consider him a wimp and reject him.
  • If he initiates awkwardly, she is likely to consider him a jerk and reject him.
  • If he initiates too quickly, she may charge him with date rape.
  • She is very unlikely to initiate physical intimacy herself.
  • Too slowly for one woman can be too quickly for another woman, and the man has to guess.
  • When he guesses wrong, he can face rejection, or rejection plus a criminal charge.

Military Service Obligations

  • All young men must register with Selective Service for a possible military draft. 17
  • Even physically or mentally handicapped young men must register.
  • Penalties for failing to register include five years imprisonment, a $250,000 fine, and permanent ineligibility for government benefits.
  • In some states, a man cannot renew his driver license if he has not registered.
  • 1.2 million American men have died in war.
  • No law compels a woman to do anything solely because of her gender.
  • Women are exempt from registration for a military draft.
  • Even women who are Olympic athletes are exempt from registration, simply because they are women.
  • Women who choose to serve in the military are exempt from combat.
  • Women who choose to serve in combat may take only the safest combat roles.
  • Women can attend U.S. military academies, and many become officers in command of men, but women still have no obligation to share with men the risk of being drafted in a future war.


  • Between the ages of 15 and 40, more men die from testicular cancer than women die from breast cancer. 18


Unequal Justice

  • Men receive more severe sentences than women for the same crimes. 19
  • Male felons lose their rights as parents.
  • Female felons may go to special prisons and visit with their children overnight.
  • Male-on-male prison rape is considered humorous. 20

Reproductive Rights and “Choice”

  • 1.5 million American women legally walk away from parental responsibilities every year through adoption, abortion, or abandoning babies.
  • The government goes to great lengths to protect women’s right to choice.
  • Men cannot legally walk away from parental responsibilities (child support).
  • The government goes to great lengths to hold men to those responsibilities.
  • Many men who have proven that they did not father the children that they support are still forced to pay child support.
  • How a woman got pregnant is irrelevant to the man’s child-support obligation. 21
  • A married man is legally responsible for any child born to his wife, even if he is not the biological father. 22
  • Some women who have had sex with underage boys and then gotten pregnant have been awarded child support but were not charged with statutory rape.
  • These women have been rewarded for having sex with minors.
  • Meanwhile, their victims are forced to pay the women who raped them. 23

Work and Financial Obligations

  • A husband is expected to work unless his wife chooses to financially support him.
  • A wife may choose to work or not; she is never expected to financially support her husband.
  • Men work more hours than women. 24
  • Husbands commute farther to work than wives. 25
  • Mothers have more free time than fathers. 26
  • The workplace rules over a working father.
  • A stay-at-home mother rules over the home.
  • All of the most dangerous occupations are predominantly male. 27
  • All of the most physically demanding and violent occupations are predominantly male. 28
  • Garbage men face a 70% risk of severe injury or death in a year’s time. 29
  • 5,000 men die on the job each year, more than 95% of all occupational deaths. 30
  • There are 6 times as many fish and wildlife inspectors as job safety inspectors. 31
  • Laws and regulations protect women from merely overhearing dirty jokes at work.

Marriage, Divorce, and Family Life

  • While the media claim that men are “afraid of commitment” and claim that many married men are abandoning their families, in fact women initiate two-thirds of divorces. 32
  • Women initiate even more of the divorces among couples with children. 33
  • The most common reason given by these women is “feeling unappreciated”. 34
  • Men paying alimony have no right to receive anything in return — another name for this is indentured servitude.
  • In disputes, courts grant child custody to women four times as often as to men. 35
  • Women are more likely to abuse, neglect, or murder their children. 36
  • The state enforces child-support obligations vigorously.
  • The state does little or nothing to enforce visitation rights. 37
  • Men paying child support have no right to receive anything in return — another name for this is indentured servitude. 38
  • Women are equally likely or more likely than men to abuse their partners. 39
  • Women are more likely to abuse their partners severely. 40
  • Women’s use of weapons and surprise attacks makes up for their lesser strength and size. 41
  • Services and awareness campaigns help female victims of domestic abuse.
  • There are very few services and no awareness campaigns to help male victims of domestic abuse.
  • Some states require arresting an allegedly abusive man, even if his partner objects. 42
  • A woman abusing a man is considered humorous.
  • A woman may legally murder her husband if she claims that she was battered. 43
  • A proof of being battered is having placed a restraining order against him.
  • The requirement for a restraining order is fear of a possible assault.
  • For every 100 men who kill their wives, 75 women kill their husbands. 44
  • Men are arrested for this crime 6 times as frequently as women.
  • The average prison sentence for a husband killing his wife is 17.5 years.
  • The average prison sentence for a wife killing her husband is 6.2 years. 45
  • 58% of child abusers are women. 46
  • 97% of those put in prison for crimes against children are men. 47
  • The majority of child abusers reported to social service agencies are women. 48
  • 73% of the abusers that these agencies choose to report to police are men.
  • A man convicted of inappropriately fondling a child is 25 times more likely to be put in prison than a woman convicted of killing or maiming a child. 49
  • A woman may legally murder her children if she is depressed. 50
  • In some states, a woman can charge a man with rape simply because she was drunk when she had sex with him – she is not held responsible for her actions because she was drunk.But even if the man was also drunk at the time, he is still held responsible for his actions – and for hers.
  • A woman may anonymously accuse a man of rape. 51
  • The news media may freely report the man’s name and the charge against him, even if the charge is later proved false.
  • In many states, jurors in rape trials are specifically instructed that a rape conviction can be based on the accuser’s testimony alone, without any evidence.
  • Falsely accusing a man of rape, harassment, or paternity carries no punishment.
  • A substantial number of rape accusations are false. 52
  • A substantial number of harassment accusations are false.
  • A substantial number of paternity claims are false. 53
  • Men pay most of the income taxes. Women receive most of the benefits.
  • Over their lifetimes, men pay twice what women pay into Social Security. 54
  • Over their lifetimes, women receive 50% more than men in payments. 55
  • 69% of homeless adults in the U.S. are men. 56
  • There are more men without health insurance than women without it. 57
  • There are several federal offices for women’s health.
  • There is no federal office for men’s health.
  • For every woman who is a victim of violent crime there are three men who are victims of violent crime.


  • 78% of murder victims in the U.S. are men. 58
  • Men are 11 times more likely than women to be killed on the job. 59
  • 14 men are killed on the job every day.
  • Men have higher death rates than women for 12 of the leading 15 causes of death. 60
  • 80% of suicide victims in the U.S. are men. 61
  • Widowers are 10 times more likely than widows to commit suicide. 62
  • Every 20 months, suicide and homicide kill as many men as the Vietnam War. 63
  • Men are 20% more likely to die from prostate cancer than women from breast cancer. 64
  • Federal funding for breast cancer research is 4 times the funding for prostate cancer research. 65
  • Men die 5 years younger than women. 66

How good do men have it?


I GOT GAS YESTERDAY FOR 1.74!!!! I filled my tank up for 21.73. *Dances lil jig*

OMG Soooooooooooooooooo funny! So, who got served here?

I have a serious issue with Kim Porter. She is a gorgeous woman. She’s knocking on 40 and looks like she’s just turning 25. Her body is to die for and her skin looks like it’s been kissed by God himself. And though I may be a little green-eyed about her physical attributes, I am not in the least bit jealous of her so-called “relationship” with Diddy.

Kim evidently wants us to use her as a clear example of how to avoid being a door mat in our relationships. So in honor of Kim’s personal sacrifice of respect for herself, I’ve compiled of list of what NOT to do. Please join me in paying homage to Kim.

1. Know Your Worth
When Kim and Diddy met, she was a receptionist at Uptown records, where Diddy was an intern. Eventually, Diddy was promoted to VP and Kim started modeling. Shortly after that, they hooked up and it’s been a rollercoaster ride ever since. She had a modeling career and earned her own money. A resourceful entrepreneur in her own right, she started her own party planning company in Atlanta, which she has seemingly given up on. She’s got (or at least, had) a life of her own. But her claim to fame is being Diddy’s off and on girlfriend and interminable ‘baby momma’. This disappoints me. Do not give up your life, your dreams and your goals for a man (or anyone else for that matter). He needs to know that you can and do pull your own weight. That you are with him because you want to be with him, not because you need somebody to feed you and put gas in your ride. See Exhibit A for proof. If you are totally dependent on him, he will treat you like a piece of property, because in reality, he really does own you if he’s supporting all your wants, needs and habits. Bad men love this type of woman. She’s always there to give up the booty and cook his meals while he doesn’t have to put much effort in other than throwing a few dollars at her to shut her up when she starts running of at the mouth.

2. Money Doesn’t Make a Man
Being with a paid man doesn’t add up to a pile of cow manure when he treats you like trash. The measure of a man is not defined by a large salary, fine clothing or a house on a hill. A “man” appreciates his woman and does not, under any circumstances, take her for granted. He knows she can bounce out on him at any moment should he not step up and play his position properly, so he does the necessary things to please her. If Diddy respected Kim, trust and believe he would not be out with Cassie at the zoo all hugged up (on Mother’s Day of all days!) and he most definitely would not be on the beach canoodling with J-Lo while Kim was in the hospital having his youngest son, Christian. WTF? If for no other reason, Kim should kicked his behind to the curb for that alone. I don’t even know Kim and that story pisses me off. Man…I wish somebody would… Don’t even get me started.

3. Love is What Love Does
When a man loves you, there is no doubt in your mind. You don’t have to wonder about it. His actions are clear and concise. He won’t be out doing things to you cause embarrassment or pain. Didn’t your mother tell you: “actions speak louder than words”? Forget what he says…focus on how he acts.

4. Quit Making Excuses for Him
While pregnant with twins, Kim was in the December 2006 issue of Essence Magazine rambling about how Diddy has changed and how good of a father he is to his kids. How he takes care of them and how he spends time with them. Ok great…good for Diddy, good for the kids. What about her? “I know he loves me, but he is learning how I need to be loved”. She sounds like the quintessential dumb broad. She’s been with this cat for what? 10+ years? And he doesn’t know how to love you the way you need to be loved? Please. If he hasn’t learned by now, he’s never going to learn. Rather, I believe, he just doesn’t care. Why should he? He knows she’s not going anywhere. Every time she “leaves” him, we see her spotted out with him somewhere holding hands. If you represent yourself as a door mat, you will be treated accordingly. The best thing she could do for her relationship with him is to leave and stay away. Find someone who loves her better. I guarantee a big motivator is the money and lifestyle Diddy provides, but who wants to have to cry and be miserable everyday while you’re sitting at the house alone as he is off screwing other chicks?

5. Stop Trying to Change Him
In that same Essence article, Diddy talks about how this was the first time he’s ever been in a monogamous relationship. How he hasn’t cheated “this time” and how fulfilling it is. Shortly after the twins were born, some other chick in Atlanta, Sarah Chapman, goes public with how she just had Diddy’s baby. DNA tests confirmed the child was his and evidently the two women were pregnant at the same time. What happened to that monogamy, Diddy? Sounds like that was just a lie to satisfy Kim’s dumb behind who, for some reason, thought you were a changed man. Listen, people do not change for other people! Oh, he certainly might change for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a year or longer. But trust and believe he will relapse and the façade will fade. It always does. If a man wants to change, he will change for himself, not because his woman has been nagging him and hounding him to change his ways. If there is a spiritual anointing upon him, he could change, but again, it’s not because any particular person forced him to change. That is a personal decision. Anyway, the next thing we know, Kim is giving interviews about how Sarah Chapman is a skank and how Kim’s kids don’t need to know the Sarah’s kid because it’s illegitimate and whatnot. Kim, shut up! You sound like a fool. She said that same thing when Diddy left her for J-Lo, calling her “nothing but a booty with a smile”. If you spent as much energy being mad at your “man” as you do all the women he’s bedding on a daily basis, you might have the time to actually make like the smart, self-reliant woman you used to be and leave his selfish behind.

Dear Celibacy,

I hope this letter finds your well, or at least better than I.

Look, I need you to cut me some slack here. I’m tryin to do the right thing. I’m tryin to maintain the great friendship we’ve developed. You’ve brought me even closer to my Father, made my life even more fulfilling, provided me with a relationship stronger than any other I’ve had in the past, but you keep screwing with me! (No pun intended) What’s with the love/hate? I can’t handle the passive/aggressive schizo nonsense you are bringing to this relationship.

Listen, I’m doing my part. I mean, everybody knows about us. I’ve put myself on the line time and time again for you, allowing myself to be held accountable by everybody who knows about us, but that’s just not enough for you. You just keep on pushing and testing my boundaries.

And you just love to play with my emotions and holler at Libido right before Aunt Flow comes to visit each time. I know I’m not the only one you mess with, but this is me we’re talkin about. I’m the one that opted to give you another chance! Most people say “to heck with you” and keep it moving. But not I. I believe in you and me. Doesn’t that at least count for something?

You know what? You are really getting on my last nerve. For real. Somehow you and Universe have gotten together and concocted a way to keep the bf and I insanely busy so the only time we’re free to see each other is late at night during what my momma would call “those booty call hours”. You ain’t slick. I know your games. I know what you’re up to. And I’m not falling for it.

See, I’ve tried to be friends with you before. How moronic am I to think you won’t play me again? Silly me. But this time, I’ve got allies. I’ve got people now. Friends who, like me, are attempting to get down with you, but we all know how fickle a friend you are. No, we don’t go to Reed College, I don’t even know where Reed College is, but we’ve got a Celibacy Society of our own.  Yes, we do talk about you behind your back. And what?? There’s strength in numbers and every time you try to get brolic with me or someone in my crew, trust and believe we are looking out for one another.

So how about you just fall back and play your position? Stop plotting and planning during your secret meetings  with Libido and Sex Drive, and quit trying to infiltrate Dreams. It ain’t happening. If you spent as much time kicking it with Holy Matrimony as you do trying to knock me off my game, we could move past our current arrangement and both of us would be happy as kid in a candy store. Trust me.


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Just looked out the window and saw snow on my car. 😦 This makes me sad. Going to pray for and dream about an Indian Summer.

Ok, so this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this blog, however, I just HAD to put you guys on to some game. Nobody will probably care but me, but oh well, I’m so excited about it. And it’s MY blog so I say what I want! You got a problem with it, take it up with the admin…oh wait, I AM the admin! Bwhahahaha!

I am a BIG fan of Shaun T’s Hip Hop Abs workouts and he has this semi-new spinoff called Rockin’ Body. (I say “semi-new” since it’s not really new new, but I just recently ordered it. It’s actually been out about 6-12 months). Maybe you’ve seen the infomercials if you stay up too late at night like me. Each DVD includes 3-4 different workouts of varying time lengths and different names. Yesterday I worked out to ‘Rock It Out’, which includes some kind of 80s rock music that I’ve heard before, although I can’t remember the names/artists. It’s pretty cool, but he makes you do like 8 sets of 10 pushups, which I am SO not a fan of. I laid on the floor for about 10 of the 45 min just praying for it to be over. It was that hard.

Anyway, so today, I did ‘Booty Time‘, which is basically a hip hop-laden, 30 min., extreme hardcore lower body workout for the booty and thighs. Let me tell you, this joint gets the butter from the duck (as my momma would say). When my bf read the title on the box he fell out laughing. I don’t blame him – it is kinda corny. But man, did I have so much fun doing this workout. Shaun T. is obviously a child of the 80s and a teen of the 90s because all the dances in ‘Booty Time’ are dances we did in high school (I shudder to think about my parents finding out some of those dances I was doing back then…shout out my girl Tiffany, the cop that gave me my first speeding ticket while I was trying to beat curfew coming from the club, and a big hateful scowl at all the Bedford and Warrensville High folks that got the Outer Limits shut down! Those were the days…whoo I’m gettin’ old. Class of ’00!!!!).

Ok anyway, so this video has the “Dirty Wind”, some dance he calls the “Booty Snake” (which he does a little too well), a really hardcore version of the “Bankhead Bounce” (who woudla thought you would get a workout from that??), a dance called the “Salt-N-Pepa” which is the crisscross-then-jump move they did in the “Push It” video and a bunch of more sexy booty dances to get you feeling all feminine and sexy. And isn’t feeling sexy essential to being a woman? I think so. Also, get this: the music even includes “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa! OMG! I was sooooooo amped! (Kinda odd though that the Salt-N-Pepa dance isn’t done to the Salt-N-Pepa song…) My girl, my bf and my buddy Sean all think I’m crazy, but if only they knew how fun it was! Actually, I don’t want my bf doing the “Booty Snake”, or any other booty dances for that matter, so he can just go right ahead and think I’m crazy. 🙂 My girl, on the other hand needs to give it a try.

Really funny sidenote: Shaun T. is super corny but he’s so funny. He keeps trying to rap and he has this, like, old school Chuck D. flow but way softer so it sounds uber-lame. He’s also clearly gay and keeps turning around to demonstrate how to stick your booty out properly. It’s hilarious. And there are mostly women on the video but there’s this one random, obviously masculine guy hiding in the corner trying to do all these girly dances and he just looks a hot “a” mess.

Whoo! That 30 min kicked me right in the kisser. My backside is gonna be soooo sore in the morn. Ah, well I’m a glutton for punishment (not really) so I’ll probably do it all over again tomorrow.

Mmmk…back to the regularly scheduled posts. 🙂

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