What in the fruitalicious, how-you-doin, elton john hell is this?

Um…seriously?  Ok, look here…if you are a woman involved with a guy who starts coming around you with some big booty, butt padded briefs, you know what time it is. He is so on the down low he is dang near underground. I beg you, please go get yourself tested immediately. Don’t be surprised if you get an InSpot e-card a few days later.